Thursday, June 23, 2016

Stay

My one year old daughter Makenzie has not wanted me to rock her to sleep in MONTHS. Not since she was like 6 months old. She actually prefers to be placed in the crib after nursing and gets comfy and falls asleep on her own. My first born, Zoey, was not like this at all and I rocked her to sleep until I had Makenzie. Even now I still rub her back for her to fall asleep for naps.

Yesterday Makenzie was crying when I set her down so I decided to rock her. She actually fell asleep in my arms as I rocked her. I held her for two hours while she napped in my arms. I just watched her sleep soaking in her smell and cuddles. I could have put her down and gotten a million things done like I usually do during their nap time, but I decided to stay. Stay and rock her. Stay and hold her. Stay.

As I sat there I thought this might not ever happen again and it made me sad. Sometimes they grow out of something before you even have time to realize it and you have no time to be sad about it because it just happens. I miss her being a small baby and needing me more. I remember impatiently waiting for the days where she could walk around and didn't cry for me to hold her constantly. The day has come and gone and she is miss independent. I have two toddlers running around the house playing and eating snacks and I can now clean and cook as I need. The freedom is nice but I already miss all the snuggles. I do get the occasional kiss my boo boo or hold me I fell down, which of course is just the sweetest.

I will not be taking any more snuggle sessions for granted because they are now far and few between. My babies are growing up and are not babies anymore. I will stay in those moments and cherish them for a lifetime. Stay and hold them. Stay and kiss them. Stay because they need me to. Stay because I need to. Stay and sing. Stay for one more book. Stay to do more cuddles and tuck ins. Stay for one more hug goodnight.
Stay.

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